I have been making a few short trips and have not blogged much lately. Lee’s dad and a friend have been taking care of him while I have been gone. I just got home late last night from a trip and only had today to get things done before heading out to be with my family on Thanksgiving. Tonight Lee was full of projectiles! First he said he threw up on the carpet in his room…he said he was laying down in the bed and could not make it to the toilet. I told him to clean it up and he says he did and put the towels in the washing machine. I hope he did a good job, I didn’t even look. Then tonight right as I was ready to go to bed, I gave Lee his nighttime medicine. He tried swallowing the pills with a full glass of water, got choked and spewed water out his mouth like a fountain all over the kitchen island, floor and rug. And then continuing to gag he vomited up some more on the rug! I am so tired I can’t tell you and I just told him to get out!!! I raised my voice at him and said I felt like I was taking care of a baby, and he needed to grow up!! I locked the gate so as to keep him out of the kitchen and my part of the house while I listened to these words, ” You need to go to mom school, you old, fat, ugly, gray-haired, lazy, ass bitch.” Delightful….. I know I am none of those things and that he doesn’t even mean it but I still would love to slap him silly for saying it but I am just writing about it instead and going to bed…tomorrow is another day and we are headed to my folks for Thanksgiving.
Lee has had access to the beer, sodas, bottle water and protein shakes out in the garage refrig for 4 days. The good news is he has not taken any beer and just an occassional soda and protein shake. I have been impressed! Not so much that I am going to leave it unlocked … but still 4 straight days with some self-control is to be applauded!
I am having some maintenance work done on my patio and the remodeling contractor and his men have to have access to the garage all day. I knew it was a risk and would be tempting for Lee but I had no choice. Late afternoon after the workers leave, I lock the door except for tonight when I didn’t get home till almost 8pm, but all is well. The work might wrap up in another day or two and if Lee can make it through the end of the week without taking extra beverages I am going to come up with some little reward and lay on the praise.
This is a step in the right direction since Lee is often trying to get to my keys so he can go unlock the garage and get extra beer without me knowing it and yes…. there has been a time or two that I left my keys sitting around and he helped himself to the refrig contents and returned the key without me knowing. A few weeks ago I went to get his two daily beers and when I reached into the 18 can box my hand went through the other side!! He had taken a bunch of beer out of the back of the box and from the front it wasn’t noticeable, especially since it was on a lower shelf. Well that is… until the beer ran out! Very clever, but he only got away with it for so long… and then he didn’t get any beer at all for 2 days.
I have a good feeling that Lee can continue to refrain and I am hoping it is because he is able to think ahead a little bit. If I drink it all now, I won’t get any tomorrow… the ability for him to be able to do that is HUGE!!! A therapist told me years ago that his type of mental illness is at the degree that he is simply unable to think ahead. Of course, it could be that his hesitation to take extras is because he knows I know exactly how much of everything is out there!
Lee left a gas burner on all night! I am glad the house is still standing and Lee and I are alive and well, as well as my mom who is here visiting! I got up about 8:30 but did not head to the kitchen untill a little after 9 to make me some coffee. My bedroom and the guest bedroom are on the opposite side of the house from the kitchen and I always lock a deadbolt to this part of the house when I go to bed to keep Lee out. The second I opened that door the gas smell hit me full force. There was no mistaking what it was and I feared what I might find in the kitchen! It only took me a few seconds to get there and all was okay … if you can call seeing an empty pot on top of a blazing gas burner okay!!! Instantly I turned off the gas and turned the overhead fan on and then ran out the front door to get a breath of fresh air. I left the front door open and then went to open the back door to air out the house. Back in the kitchen, I found all six of the grates too hot to touch, the heat radiating off them. I did not even try the pot which fortunately was a good, thick Calphalon pan, now black on the bottom.
I made my coffee and decided to deal with the pot later, which by the way, I still have not done. It didn’t take long to get fresh air into the kitchen, living and dining room areas thank goodness. When my mom got up less than an hour later she didn’t even notice.
This is the second time Lee has done this. The other time I was just out for the evening and returned to find the gas burner on but judging by the lack of smell that time it hadn’t been on nearly as long. When Lee got up later this morning I told him about it and I actually liked his response, “OH SHIT!” He didn’t deny it or tell me something or someone made him do it, that he was disabled and couldn’t help it or any such thing!! Lee went on to say he was going to make some ramen noodles and went to boil the water but laid down in his room and forgot about it. Obviously, he then fell asleep and with his door closed he did not smell the gas either. I told him we all make mistakes but that I will have to once again start locking the gate that stands between his room and the kitchen and the rest of the house. I told him it was to not only protect the house but that I wasn’t going to chance our lives over his desire to have ramen noodles (or whatever) late at night after I have gone to bed. For now he seems to understand that, at least he didn’t try to argue with me about it. So I will end now, go lock the gate and get some good sleep.
Lee recently ate a bee and I get a little bit of the story every few days. Today he told me he cooked the dead bee over the gas cook top before he ate it. The story began like this: Lee finds dead bee outside on pavement by the pool, he puts it in a spider web near the house so that the spiders would eat it but the next day when he found that it had just fallen through the web he decided he would eat it. When I asked why would you do that he answered, “Didn’t want it to go to waste.” He hasn’t told me how it tasted yet, can’t wait to hear!
Lee has discovered Facebook! I knew the time would eventually come much to my chagrin. Due to Lee’s mental illness he threw his perfectly good computer in the trash a few years ago and had to go without one. He had to save his own money to buy a replacement which he was able to do earlier this year. I never mentioned Facebook but Lee knew about it and often saw it up on my screen when I would get on my page. It was bound to happen that he would set up his own account and then start seeking out his former high school buddies. I dreaded him reconnecting with those folks mainly because of the drinking and drugging they did and might still be doing. Fortunately Lee did not jump right into seeing any of them. Then a few weeks ago he told me about a birthday celebration that one of his former friends was having at a theme park. I was hoping he would just forget about it but saw that instead he was actually looking forward to it and planning to go.
The party was yesterday and I anxiously gave Lee $95. 00 to go spend the afternoon with his buddies. Normally I wouldn’t give him that much money but when a theme park is involved it is expensive. Of course, I am never sure where he is really going to go or what he will do with the money so it was a great relief to find him home last night when I returned to the house from having visited with a friend !! And it gets better, he wasn’t drunk or stoned !!!! Lee told me he had a nice time but did not disclose much information and I have learned it is better not to pop to many questions or he will get frustrated with me, so I just praised him for being home early and staying out of trouble.
Speaking of trouble…. he also found his old high school girlfriend through Facebook and I know they have been talking on the phone as well. Hopefully, this will go no where as it would probably not play out well, heck, it wasn’t a good thing even years ago!
Am I in my kitchen? Not having enough energy to clean up the incredible mess Lee had made over the past several days, I just left it and went to bed. That often happens and I just get up in the morning and get going on returning everything back to how it should look. But this morning I found a shocking, wonderful surprise. Lee not only emptied the clean dishes from the dishwasher but put all the dirty ones piled up in the sink into it. The countertops had been wiped off and the glass top table that serves as a kitchen island was spotless! That table is where Lee eats standing up and by night fall it is usually pretty nasty with his usual tidbits of soggy cereal, hot sauce, spilled milk, dried up ketchup and ice cream. It takes scalding hot water to clean it up, followed by a lot of windex. And Lee did all of this on his own without me asking him to do any of it !!! Now he can no longer get away with not cleaning up his messes… he did such a good job and he was so proud! Lee woke me up early by calling my cell phone and said he had something he wanted to show me. But since it was like 6am I told him he shouldn’t be waking me up and that I would see it when I got up. Unfortunately Lee went to bed and wasn’t there to see the big smile on my face when I walked into the kitchen a few hours later. :-) He got a good verbal report card from me though when I did see him!
The past several weeks have been relatively calm at home. Lee has only had one bad night in weeks and that was when he decided to cook Ramen Noodles! Upon awaking one morning early this past week I went into the kitchen to make me a cup of coffee and the kitchen was a wreck! I was dumbfounded to find that Lee had cooked those noodles at least 3 different ways. He burned some in a pan on the cook-top. The pan was blacked on the bottom of the pan, inside and out! He tried making them in a wok, the wok and the burnt pan were in the sink. But the real surprise was seeing the water compartment to his Keurig coffee pot full of water and Ramen Noodles! Fortunately the coffee pot was not damaged. Lee had also gotten into the pumpkin pie and did not put it back in the refrigerator and crumbs and bigger pieces of pie were on both the carpet and the floor. It was quite a mess and one Lee does not even remember making… or at least that is what he is saying. Never did get the full story on what happened and I doubt that Lee even remembers. I did lock Lee out of the kitchen for a few days as a punishment of sorts as he hates it when he is locked out of the living areas of the house. The gate is back open now but I am reminding him every night that he is not allowed to do any cooking after I go to bed. And going to bed is where I am headed right now…..more later !